The Seventh Nerve

No excuses, Dollywood!

2010-03-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I saw Dolly Parton today, twice, and it was free thanks to Media Day 2010. But there's no excuse for a complete lack of organization, no direction, nor the herding of reporters under an outdoor shed to eat lunch in 45-degree weather while others who had cameras and equipment in tow were forced to eat in the rain. Then publicity tells us, "That's it."

The rest of the day was canceled without a "Thanks for coming," "Here's a Dollywood embossed ink pen," "Here's your 25-year season pass like we gave everybody for our 20th anniversary," nothing. Even though it's worth noting that Dolly quipped she had "something special" planned for everybody who attended. I guess "special" was eating a cold hamburger and some fried banana pudding from a cup in the rain, because that's all that materialized.

I'm not bitter about the day being canceled. Dollywood's publicity department can't help the weather. What yanks my crank is what appeared to be total disregard for the local media who keeps Dollywood going, and in this case, free of charge.

Media Day two years ago was great. It was well-planned and elegantly executed. That was when I met country legend Jeannie C. Riley, had a sit-down conversation with Diana Degarmo from American Idol, talked to Porter Waggoner's daughter and grandchildren, and even sat with Marcia Brady, a.k.a. Maureen McCormick and the staff from Access Hollywood to watch Dolly sing "I Will Always Love You."

But two years later it could not have been much worse, unless Adventure Mountain -- this year's new attraction -- came rolling down on top of the 100-plus reporters who attended.

And yes, I am ungrateful, but it was good to have David Hicks going with me, good to have eaten my frigid lunch with John Henderson Osborne III and nice to see Mike Hammond.

It was opening day at Dollywood, kids, but this roving reporter has had enough for one season.

By the way, this was Dollywood's 25th Anniversary opener, her year of "Dreams" or some such slogan. So, why was I dreaming I was back home?

Candlelight and One-Ply Toilet Paper

2010-03-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

We Can't Wish Away Climate Change

On Feb. 27, the New York Times posted an Op-Ed piece by former Vice president Al Gore that was no doubt eagerly anticipated by those who believe polar bears are floating helplessly on icebergs and mercury-filled CFL light bulbs will help save the planet.

I was okay with Mr. Gore professing his love of all things natural. I like natural peanut butter, too, but can't always afford it. There was also a time when I envisioned him as our next president. Mr. Gore that is, not Mr. Peanut.

While I don't want to feel the ocean waves lapping my feet from atop the Great Smoky Mountains, it's time for global warming supporters such as Al Gore to fess up to misguidance. It's time to begin building a credible reputation everybody can relate to, rather than searching for reasons to continue force-feeding us a daily dose of government-endorsed, scientific opinion.

Listen. I'm all about energy conservation and against deforestation. I don't support the notion of "It's my land and I'll do whatever the hell I want to with it." I also want an electric car, I prefer paper over plastic, and recycling is awesome. But candlelight and one-ply toilet paper isn't going to save the world.

Remember, Al Gore is well-paid for most of those speaking engagements on climate change while he jets around the world in his high-cost, energy-consuming, pollution-radiating transportation. And I'm sure those engagements are accompanied by a meal of largely wasted foods packaged in exceptionally wasteful wrappings, etc. You get the point.

US releases names of prisoners at Bagram, Afghanistan

2010-01-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

BBC: US releases names of prisoners at Bagram, Afghanistan

So Ms. Goodman, an ACLU lawyer, said publicizing the names of 645 alleged terrorists is an "important step toward transparency and accountability" at Bagram prison. She also wants to know how long they've been there, where they're from and where they were captured. How about dinner at her house, too? Even better, maybe she can call Bin Laden and read him the list herself. She might as well.

Observing My Religion ... And Everybody Else's

2009-12-22T19:57:00.001-08:00

It has always been my observation that religion is a place of solace in times of trouble; a sacred location to let your soul recuperate when your mind and body just won't let you be. But lately I've been troubled by the sight of people who use it as a hiding place. Just an brief observation.

Martha Stewart on Sarah Palin

2009-11-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

The queen of perfectly-crocheted prison bar cozies, Martha Stewart, spoke out yesterday against Sarah Palin saying she is "boring," "dangerous" and "confused."

I guess when you spend time in the pen for lying about insider trading, have a daughter who hates you, as well as a couple of exes who think you're insane, it qualifies you to make public comment about somebody who has a family who loves and stands behind them.

Yeah, that gives Martha plenty of room to comment on somebody whom she admits she "wouldn't watch if you paid [her]."

Martha Stewart: Not "a good thing."

Palin and Newsweek

2009-11-18T07:46:00.000-08:00

Compare: Palin puts on a pair of running shorts to be photographed for a cover shoot in a running journal and she's a bitch. Yet, President Obama's photographed running shirtless and he's the new sexy. Where's the fairness? Nancy Pelosi could run topless across Capitol Hill and Newsweek would say it was artistic expression.

In the proper context, i.e., a fitness magazine, I see nothing wrong with the photo. But on the cover of a news magazine it becomes "tabloid," thus causing the news organization to further lose credibility. What's worse, Newsweek knew it would appear as such before they took the issue to press.

Whether or not the public likes Sarah Palin — and I do like her — she is being steamrolled by left-wing media outlets that the public so heavily relies upon.

One could argue Sarah Palin just needs to keep her mouth shut and wait. Sometimes people need a "moment" to be redeemed. But she has not been given that opportunity such as have Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, or President Obama who have consistently been rewarded following their slip-ups.

Politically, I'm neither radical right or left. It's difficult to say you are anything but "independent" or "crazy" when you've voted for Bush, Jr. and Hillary. But I hate the constant flow of bullsh*tt about Sarah Palin in the press while dancing monkeys like Joy Behar, David Letterman and Keith Olbermann watch their ass get fatter on national T.V. and make a living off of slandering her.

Whether or not it's Sarah Palin being demonized, it's wrong. Even if it's President Obama, it's wrong.

Blogger Blather

2009-02-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I decided to visit an online forum that offers some highly opinionated commentary about Rogersville. It includes for the most part what I consider to be potentially libelous information posted by anonymous bloggers about Rogersville's people and its businesses. These folks have managed to bastardize what could have been a useful news source for the Rogersville community.

By the time I was finished reading I was disappointed, disallusioned and angry. So, the chance for me to comment about it here the way I want, on my own blog, using my own name, is like eating chocolate cake without the calories or the lingering guilt.

I write features and news to put peas on my plate. I've done so more than six years. Once in awhile I even throw in an editorial for good measure. Most anybody who reads this already knows that. Public opinion might vary regarding how much all that writing's worth, but for now I'm using it to vent while I offer some clarification and personal observations.

I'm tired of being 'Silent, party of one.'

The blather I encountered on the Rogersville forum can best be described by any number of negative words. 'Cowardice' and 'ignorance' float to the top of my list.

There are a few positive threads that are unique only because there are so few of them. The rest ramble incessantly about idle gossip, rumors, the need for change, or how one business is better equipped to outperform the other. Most of it is the latter.

First, if you want to change your community you have to be more interested in the community than yourself. The people who have anonymously posted those things are only interested in a pissing contest. Perhaps it's to further their own self-interests. Maybe it's so they can say things they wouldn't otherwise dare whisper outside the comfortable shadow of a pen name. Or maybe they do it just to be cruel.

I can handle change. Yay, change! It makes a great news story. I can also handle constructive criticism and I love opinions when I have somebody to credit them to. What I can't handle is a coward or somebody with a premeditated agenda.

Are these anonymous bloggers the ones who're going to shake up Rogersville? God help us if they are, or else everybody who lives and works there might as well let the tumbleweeds blow in.

Rogersville deserves better. Hawkins County deserves better.

These anonymous local men and women, some of whom identify themselves as part of the business community while they lay bare their opinions, should be ashamed.

My finger points in your general direction, people, but you'll have to guess which one I'm using.

I'm disappointed that a forum intended for news and information has been reduced to a smalltown sit 'n' spit. Instead it's used to ridicule individuals, as well as the businesses they work for ... which have not only in many cases created, but continue to help develop the Rogersville that these anonymous bloggers choose to live in.

Children of the Mountains? Come on!

2009-02-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

On Friday, ABC's show '20/20' aired a commentary on poverty in our region titled 'Children of Appalachia.'

Watching the promo, I said, "Oh no, here we go again."

I was right.

Less than five minutes into Diane Sawyer's diatribe on the 'other America' several drug-induced, toothless families were strung in front of the camera like circus clowns. They were identified, without just cause and even fewer words, as the faces of modern Appalachia.

If the representatives of Appalachia are an amalgamation of Snuffy Smith comics and the Peacock family from 'X Files,' where Maw Peacock was kept in a box under the bed, no arms, no legs and the kids were rife with oddities because Uncle Brother Daddy was the father, then Diane was right on. But if she was after the truth, and obviously she wasn't, then she had many more mountains to explore.

One of the most hilarious parts of the show, minus the stereotypical incident of inbreeding that just happened to occur during filming, was the reported cause of tooth decay among Appalachian families. No, it wasn't poor dental hygiene, the unwillingness to pick up a tube of Crest at the dollar store, or even a vitamin deficiency. It was Mountain Dew. Yes, the leading cause of tooth decay in us hill folk is Mountain Dew.

It was then, having lost hope for a glimpse of anything accurately depicted, that I started to pray that God would bump into the ABC satellite and knock the show off air for millions of Yankees, other 'Flatlanders' and the Liberal Democrats.

I was equally embarrassed, insulted and angered.

Pepsi Co. and the rest of Central Appalachia should sue the hell-o out of ABC. Or, maybe ABC should organize an air drop over the 'hollers' to offer us some Diet Mountain Dew instead. Then Diane could blame the high cancer rate on phenylketonurics, because we'd still be required to have a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew in hand, especially since there's no way a poor diet could have contributed to tooth decay.

Another thing that got me, probably most of all, was the 12-year-old girl who managed to sing a hymn, have a of conversation about her mother being a prescription drug addict and talk about how the family fridge contained nothing but a bottle of ranch dressing. She juggled these tales, while the camera panned through a front yard filled with piles of trash, trash Diane Sawyer dubbed something akin to the "Litter of Disappointment."

Since when did the Poverty Police mandate lining your home with hubcaps and tires, or throwing your mattress in the yard and taking a dump in the same place you park your jacked up car?

I think the real 'Litter of Disappointment' in 'Children of Appalachia' is the lack of factual information in 20/20's thrown-together documentary. It also could be in greater part because of the 'expert' Yankee who was interviewed to declare that even middle class suburban life in Appalachia, while similar to life in other parts of America, still isn't quite the same that other Americans enjoy.

I've traveled enough from Canada to the Gulf, over to the Mississippi and various places in between. Sure, there is a disparaging type of poverty in our region. Maybe it really is worse than India, which is what one Indian doctor practicing here said. All I know for certain is that the blight of Appalachian poverty is not the same as the blight of a family's irresponsible, unwillingness to break bad habits, or the blight of ABC's need for a TV ratings boost in a time of national economic crisis and ... (what?) ... poverty.

Diane Sawyer or '20/20' needs to come back around sometime for an accurate report on financial misfortune in the mountains — one that displays the average, modern Appalachian, not hand-picked stereotypes who make good television for those who aren't 'Children of the Mountains.'